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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26138923">A State Of Nature</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain'>WhenIFindLoveAgain</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Bag Of Bash For Passion [19]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Break Up, British Comedy, Classic Cars, Clubbing, Comedy, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Humor, Implied Relationships, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Mentioned SEVENTEEN Ensemble, Nudity, Partial Nudity, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Post-Break Up, Public Nudity, Religious Humor, Secret Relationship, Sexual Humor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:28:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,832</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26138923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeonghan comes to Joshua's hilarious rescue when he gets kicked out of his lovers apartment in "a state of nature" and has no one else to help him</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Yoon Jeonghan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Bag Of Bash For Passion [19]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678627</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A State Of Nature</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I hope you like this, especially with the Forrest Gump reference: "RUN, FORREST, RUN!!!" </p><p>Enjoy :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey mate." Jeonghan rushed to answer the call coming through on his phone when he saw it was Joshua. He and Joshua had gotten themselves into a bit of a strop five days ago and since then they had been having having a underlying contest of who could ignore the other one longer. He's snapped, Jeonghan thought. You've snapped, you git! He added triumphantly. The strop had come about when the car of their friend Wonwoo's very wild and very crazy Serbian girlfriend Renata - how were they even together? God only knows - had done it's battery in and the roadside-assist service in mid-week peak-hour traffic was ages away. So, Joshua had come to the rescue with jump-leads, and, Jeonghan was sticky-beaking, having been sleeping on Joshua's couch because of a incident at his own house. </p><p> </p><p>He hadn't taken kindly to his sister's new boyfriend and they had gotten into a punch-up. Jeonghan had a cut from his nose to cheekbone on one side of his face and two black eyes while his nails had clawed the boyfriend's face and arms and throat until he looked like a cat toy.</p><p> </p><p>Plus getting stomped in the head put an end to him being a cock.</p><p> </p><p>"Have a bit of an issue, I need your help." Joshua said hushedly.</p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan could hear music blaring distantly in the background. "Are you at a party?" He asked curiously. From the nanosecond he saw Joshua ringing him, Jeonghan had forgiven him, but, in the back of his mind lurked the thoughts of Joshua not appearing to be too bothered when Jeonghan told him that the reason why he had stomped on his sister's boyfriend's head was because he said that he hoped Jeonghan died of AID's.</p><p> </p><p>"Sort of." Joshua wasn't exactly forthcoming with information. "But, look, can you just come and get me and bring a spare pair of jeans and a hoodie or something? I'm freezing cold here and I'm in deep trouble."</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, hey, what's going on?" Possibilities ranged in Jeonghan's head from Joshua having a drink spilt on him to everywhere he was possibly been on fire.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, to put it politely..." Joshua seemed like he was at the dentist having his teeth pulled without anaesthetic rather than talking to his best friend.</p><p> </p><p>"Put what politely?" Jeonghan interrogated him, not taking any rot.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm in a state of nature." Joshua eventually and weakly replied after long hesitation.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck does that mean?" Jeonghan stated bluntly.</p><p> </p><p>"Well..." Joshua audibly swallowed.</p><p> </p><p>"Have you pissed yourself?" Jeonghan questionably remarked, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck.</p><p> </p><p>"HANNIE!" Joshua shrieked. Oh, shit, here they were again. Jeonghan giving Joshua a nervous breakdown before a short tram ride to strop central...</p><p> </p><p>"Ok, ok, just...can you just speak like a human and not a christian?" Jeonghan instead appealed to Joshua. State of nature? What the cock did the even mean?</p><p> </p><p>Joshua hung up the line abruptly and angrily. Jeonghan didn't get it until he realized that to Joshua's perception he had just remarked that Christians weren't human beings. Jeonghan shrugged to himself.</p><p> </p><p>Ah well, wasn't too far off the mark.</p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan rang him back. Miracously, Joshua answered the call and didn't just resort to blunt text messages - no more than three-lettered-words in lackness - at most. "Whatever's wrong with you, I'll come and get you, alright?" He told Joshua.</p><p> </p><p>"I'd say no but I'm really stuck..." Joshua answered begrudgingly.</p><p> </p><p>"Shua, there something else you want to tell me?" Jeonghan asked. He wanted to know what precisely was going on before he got his car keys and jacket.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm in someone's hedge and I'm all by myself." Joshua sounded like he was on the verge of pleading. Jeonghan was now getting concerned but quite a stately part of him was delirous with happiness. Yes, beg for my help, you bitch! He thought gleefully over Joshua been up shit creek without a paddle.</p><p> </p><p>He knew it was wrong but Jeonghan nearly pissed himself laughing.</p><p> </p><p>"Hang on, be there soon." Jeonghan tried to give himself some grace back after deplorably prostituting it out.</p><p> </p><p>"No, just, for god's sake, can you come here really quick, someone's goanna see me soon." This time, Joshua did start pleading.</p><p> </p><p>"Ok, ok...where are you?" Jeonghan asked.</p><p> </p><p>"SPICKS &amp; SPECKS...just off Knightsbridge road; you come over the bridge across the river and go up to the end of the street where it's then surrounded by the Botanical gardens and then the church grounds. It's a converted munitions factory from the war."</p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan rang Wonwoo as he slipt into his dark grey Mazda, parked out the front of his house in the closely-built-together streets of inner-city Seoul. "Hey, Woo, quick call, want to ask your brain something." Jeonghan said when Wonwoo picked up. He quickly checked how the Serbian girlfriend was and if her car eventually got a new, proper battery. Yes, sir, it did, apparently.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes?" Wonwoo commented.</p><p> </p><p>"What does it mean if you're in a state of nature?" Jeonghan asked.</p><p> </p><p>"You're in the nuddy." Wonwoo answered hesitantly.</p><p> </p><p>"What?" Jeonghan frowned, not quite catching the last bit of what Wonwoo said.</p><p> </p><p>"You're naked, Jeonghan." Wonwoo repeated.</p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan burst out into a cackle. "Oh, beautiful!" He practically sung to Wonwoo over the phone line. "Have a good night, Woo."</p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan drove to the part of the city where Joshua was in - only a few minutes from his house, actually - and, Jeonghan thought that it quite a attractive little area - these couple o streets - with their huge Acorn and Elm trees planted before the war and the old lady-bug brick shops, most of them at least three-stories with lead-tile roofs. Everyone outside the SPICKS &amp; SPECKS club, both in lines and coming out of it - it only been quart.-past-eleven at night - had a look as Jeonghan's second-hand bone-coloured 80's mercedes benz pulled up at the curb. He climbed out looking for Joshua; Joshua would stand out by a mile, but, he couldn't see him. Jeonghan's phone rang.</p><p> </p><p>"Come across the road to the gardens; I'm over by the...it's got white-cream-coloured flowers and smells like urine." Jeonghan heard Joshua coughing. He nearly started cackling again. Sucked in, he thought to himself. Nonetheless, he crossed the road and climbed the stone steps into the gardens; he wandered about fifty meters down when someone called his name. Jeonghan nearly fell over. Joshua was crouching in the centre of a bush - completely concealed unless he chose to stick his head out like he just had - in a...</p><p> </p><p>State of Nature.</p><p> </p><p>"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BRING SOME CLOTHES!" Joshua whisper yelled, pointing violently at Jeonghan, whose mouth was just hanging open.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, I was supposed to bring some clothes." Jeonghan conceded. "But, I, er...forgot about it."</p><p> </p><p>Joshua nearly died in the bush.</p><p> </p><p>"Why don't you have any clothes, anyway?" Jeonghan instead targeted at Joshua. "You would have had to have had some on when you came out to the club."</p><p> </p><p>"That's the thing, I wasn't at the club!" Joshua answered. He jutted a thumb behind his head. "I've been seeing someone but then I got kicked out and was given nothing in return."</p><p> </p><p>"You of all fucking dicks has a secret bit of flesh on the side when Casanova here -" Jeonghan exclaimed incredulously, then gestured to himself. "Hasn't gotten laid in five fucking months?"</p><p> </p><p>Joshua looked a bit revolted. "I need holy water after that." He said. "So, what happens now?"</p><p> </p><p>"You either run like fuck with my jacket on to the car, or, you wait here and I break into the house of your bit of flesh on the side." Jeonghan told him. Joshua opted for the jacket plan as he never wanted to see his bit on the side ever, ever again.</p><p> </p><p>Seoul had never seen a bizarrer sight of a nearly-naked but extremely good-looking young man racing across a park, down the stairs, and over to a vintage Mercedes Benz with another fairly good-looking bloke behind him waving car-keys and shouting, "RUN, FOREST, RUN!!!"</p><p> </p><p>"Why do you smell like coconuts?" Jeonghan sniffed Joshua's neck, leaning over the console in his car to Joshua in the passenger seat. Joshua looked at him wide-eyed and disbelieving, his chest heaving up and down with breath in the passenger seat of the vintage luxury car. He hissed for Jeonghan to drive, people peering through the windscreen to see what they believed was the strangest gay-pick-up scene ever. "You know, all coconutty?"</p><p> </p><p>"Get off, I don't want your gay germs." Joshua huffed. Jeonghan put the Merc. into ignition before doing a screamy u-ey and driving back through the city.</p><p> </p><p>"Tell me why you smell like a kinder surprise and I'll re-consider." Jeonghan said, suddenly very keen on giving his best friend his "gay germs" as it seemed to both him so much. Yes, my gay germs all over your twisted knickers, Jeonghan thought evilly before blancing internally. Oo-er. Joshua Hong in knickers. Oo...no oo-er, just, ooo actually. Got the perfectly-formed arse for it.</p><p> </p><p>"Said person who kicked me out of their house was really attracted to the...you know." Joshua embarrassedly mumbled, gesturing to his neck vaguely. Jeonghan made a mental note to examine Joshua later with a torch for hickeys while he was passed out asleep on his couch.</p><p> </p><p>"Mind sound kinda stupid right now, Shua, but, when I came looking for you there was this English song I really like playing from the club; do you know what it is?" Jeonghan asked Joshua, changing the subject. He wanted Joshua to stop shrinking down in his seat and stop avoiding looking at him. When Joshua looked at him to answer, Jeonghan could help glancing down at Joshua's thighs and how his sex was revealed just that tiny bit from how useless the jacket was at covering him up. He quickly got his eyes back on the road before Joshua decided he needed to be on the recieveing end of a duffing up situation.</p><p> </p><p>"Seven wonders by Fleetwood Mac." Joshua told him.</p><p> </p><p>"Who?" Jeonghan echoed. "Never heard of them."</p><p> </p><p>"You know, Fleetwood..." Joshua began to implore, but, then, shook his head. "Oh, never mind. Joshua rolled his eyes at Jeonghan's ignorance. "Anyway, it's just a cover done by some twat trying to sing like Stevie Nicks and that only works if your a psychotic polish-american heathen chic on drugs thinking she's Welsh."</p><p> </p><p>"She sounds fantastic, why have I never heard of her?" Jeonghan questioned. Jeonghan could easily tell that Joshua was calling him a twat over and over again in his head.</p><p> </p><p>"Because she's the same age as your grandma, you twat." Joshua answered.</p><p> </p><p>There, I knew you're calling me a twat, you twat, Jeonghan answered Joshua telepathically, but, Joshua didn't seem to get the hint. Must be the first line of defence against gay germs, Jeonghan thought, thinking of the atrocities Christian children got taught in Sunday School, a world-renowned centre for mincing cocks. Ban telepathy from possible gay-germ carriers.</p><p> </p><p>"I can so easily take that jacket back off you." Jeonghan threatened Joshua.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't you fucking dare." Joshua crossed his arms and shrunk down in his seat.</p><p> </p><p>They came back to Jeonghan's house a few moments later. </p><p> </p><p>"Have a shower and get whatever you need out of my cupboards." Jeonghan told him. </p><p> </p><p>"Thanks mate." Joshua sort of smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as Jeonghan saw Joshua's arse vanish up the stairs, he immediately got on the blower to their friends Seungcheol, then Vernon, and then Chan, telling them what had happened. Then what happened was nearly everyone's fault.</p><p> </p><p>It appeared that Seungcheol told Jihoon who told Sooyoung who told lots and lots of people. It then appeared that Vernon told Seungkwan who told Seokmin who told even more people. It then appeared - again! - that Chan told Mingyu who told Wonwoo who told his Serbian girlfriend, Renata, who then told everyone in the wider Cosmic Universe.</p><p> </p><p>Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, Jeonghan thought to himself.</p><p> </p><p>All this had taken place in under half an hour, believeably or not.</p><p> </p><p>And Joshua wasn't exactly going to be beyond delighted when his phone practically vibrated itself to the moon with incoming texts and calls about his - to put it politely - "excitable evening out". </p><p> </p><p>Joshua came back downstairs forty-five minutes later in a pair of Jeonghan's jeans and a hoodie. He looked a bit miserable. Jeonghan wondered if Joshua - as secretly kept as his bit on the side was - secretly had quite a strong "thing" for his bit on the side.</p><p> </p><p>Or...maybe...maybe not. It seemed Joshua was in a bit of a miz. state because the bit on the side - along with his clothes - had his wallet with it's cash, credit cards, and drivers lisence in it, plus, his laptop he used for his work. </p><p> </p><p>"Want to go back over there now and get them back?" Jeonghan asked. Joshua sat beside him on the couch in his sitting room, and, Jeonghan had his arm across the back of the couch where Joshua was. He noticed that Joshua's bit on the side hadn't even given him his shoes or socks back. What a octopussy prat of the first-most waters.</p><p> </p><p>"You'd have to stay in the car and I know you wouldn't comply with that for a split second becuase you never comply with anything." Joshua answered bluntly.\par<br/>"Bitch, you break my heart." Jeonghan cooed regretfully.</p><p> </p><p>"Good." Joshua said equally as bluntly as before. He appeared to be very blunt since coming out of the shower.</p><p> </p><p>"And you make me leak." Jeonghan joked, but, he was tender about it, stroking Joshua's jaw.</p><p> </p><p>"JEONGHAN!" Joshua slapped Jeonghan's chest, clearly not having a bit of it at all.</p><p> </p><p>"OK!" Jeonghan held his hands up in surrender.</p><p> </p><p>"ENOUGH ABOUT IT!!!" Joshua's eyes widened dangerously. Jeonghan knew he was going to get a Chinese burn on his testicles with a rough piece of wood if he didn't gather his bollocks together quickly.</p><p> </p><p>"FUCK'S SAKE!!!" Jeonghan responded.</p><p> </p><p>They looked at each other breathlessly for a split second before bursting out laughing. They settled down soon after in a comfortable silence.</p><p> </p><p>"You'll meet someone else." Jeonghan told Joshua. They were half-up against each other on the centre of the couch with the television playing the late-edition news with the volume on mute, both of them sort of watching it, sort of not. Jeonghan's head was by Joshua's shoulder, and, Joshua was leant back against the couch, his head on the upholstery by Jeonghan's.</p><p> </p><p>"Took me four years to meet this one." Joshua's head turned to the side, his nose pressing into Jeonghan's hair.</p><p> </p><p>"What's that song black dudes in tuxedos sing at pianos in the Ritz Carlton hotels in England?" Jeonghan asked.</p><p> </p><p>"What?" Joshua grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners slightly.</p><p> </p><p>"You know...ah tim oh by?" Jeonghan tried to mimic the English lyrics from memory as best as he could.</p><p> </p><p>Joshua nearly killed himself laughing. "As time goes by..." He sung softly.</p><p> </p><p>"That's the fucking one!" Jeonghan exclaimed. "I don't really know how to explain it but that song is a testament to meeting someone else."</p><p> </p><p>"Is it?" Joshua hummed.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah." Jeonghan half-mumbled.</p><p> </p><p>"It's cool you think that." Joshua said softly.</p><p> </p><p>"Really?" Jeonghan didn't believe it.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah." Joshua attested to the fact.</p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan yawned widely. "I can't be fucked going to bed."</p><p> </p><p>"Me neither." Joshua chuckled. It was underlyingly agreed that he'd be overnight at Jeonghan's anyway on his couch.</p><p> </p><p>"Night-night, Joshuji."</p><p> </p><p>The tops of Joshua's ears went pink at Jeonghan's name for him. "The devil's goanna get me for this..." He sighed up to the ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>"I thought your God shoved something up his bum-oley so I think Satan'd be a bit pre-occupied with that resting on his prostate between you and me." Jeonghan remarked drily.</p><p> </p><p>It was appalling humor, but, once more, Jeonghan's wicked sense of comedy nearly killed Joshua.</p><p> </p><p>"Think about it," Jeonghan contined. "The world's first sex toy write-in about how effective it was -"</p><p> </p><p>"SHUT UP!!!" Joshua exclaimed loudly, but, he was still laughing. He eventually calmed down. "God is not gay. Haven't you ever read the bible? He hates them."</p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan cackled. "God, you know something's wrong with a religion when even you make a comment like that." He looked at Joshua. "Did you use my toothbrush?"</p><p> </p><p>"No." Joshua said honestly.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, thank fucking Christ." Jeonghan beamed. "I love you." He told Joshua sincerely.</p><p> </p><p>Joshua scoffed and groaned. "No, don't you start the love business again." He warned.</p><p> </p><p>"Why not?" Jeonghan wanted to pinch the inside of Joshua's thigh but he knew that he'd get decked if he did.</p><p> </p><p>"Because last time I did everyone started up the me sucking off a cactus pun after you virtually hinted at several other things all revolving back to the point that that particular type of cactus looks likes someone's trouser-snaker addenda." Joshua replied frankly.</p><p> </p><p>Jeonghan beamed. "Aren't things lovely?" He remarked. He was glad to see Joshua blushed a bit.</p><p> </p><p>Yes. Everything would be fine. Just as time goes by.</p>
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